How to Deal with 'WTF am I doing with my life?'

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I sit and think, “WTF am I doing with my life?” There are days I wake up and think, “Yes, I got this! Life is good and I totally know what I’m doing.” Then the next day I’m like, “What the hell am I doing? Am I doing what I want, is my work meaningful, where is my life going, why do I blog?” And while I’m a classic over thinker, I’ve heard many people who deal with the same feeling. So today I’m discussing how to deal with the thought, “WTF am I doing with my life?”

Striped collared button up blouse and embroidered white sneakers — Photos by Michelle Dorman

1. Chill Out

When I’m getting wound up worrying about what I’m doing with my life, the first step is to chill the f’ out. Nothing gets done when you’re freaking out so breathe, light a scented candle, and drink a glass of wine. Contemplating the direction of your life is important but flipping out doesn’t help.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself

I know not comparing yourself to other people is hard. Especially when your friend’s newest job is posted on LinkedIn, your old college roommate is engaged, or your cousin posts a perfect photo on a Greek beach…yeah we’ve all been there. But comparing yourself is 100% worthless. Use others to inspire you, not to bring you down.

3. Talk to Someone Else

The quickest way to get some perspective is to talk to someone else. Talk to your family, friends, a professional mentor, or even a counselor about how you’re feeling. Having a trustworthy and honest person to talk to is important for truthful feedback. I’d suggest to talk to a range of people to get a variety of perspective. If you’re mom always says “You’re perfect,” you might want to contact someone who will give you realistic feedback or *gasp* tough love.

4. Make Two Lists

1. Accomplishments: When we are feeling lost, we tend to forget everything awesome we’ve already done. Reflect a little on how you got to where you are today and give yourself some credit.

2. Goals: If you want to do something differently, write it down. If you don’t know what that is, write down what you want to change. If you’re doubtful about your career path, choose a goal like: be happy at work. After that, you can break down what exactly makes you happy. Finally, put a realistic timeline on your goals. Saying my goal is to go on a solo trip to Thailand can be said for years. Instead, change your goal to, “I want to travel to Thailand alone within the next two years.”

5. Read, read, read

You’re not the first person who questioned what they are doing with their life. Thank God! And thank God these people out there took the time to write books all about it! Ask around and get some suggestions for good books about finding yourself or career building. Two of my favorites are: You are a Badass and What Color is Your Parachute?

6. Accept Where You’re At

Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not married, don’t have a dream job, or haven’t been able to afford a Chanel handbag yet. Remember to love yourself and be okay with where you’re at. As cheesy as it is, life is a journey not a destination.

7. But…Dream Big

And with the acceptance of where you are, don’t ever let that limit you. If you’re unhappy, confused or dissatisfied, be okay with yourself but don’t settle. Saying my life is “fine” or “good” is never enough. You’re better than that so dream big and pursue your passions and goals!